How to Impress a Girl

 

 Want to wow that certain girl? Though you can't control how she feels and make her fall in love with you, you can put yourself into a better light. Here are two methods for impressing a girl: first for a girl you don't know well, and second for a girl who says she's only interested in friendship.

Method 1 of 2: Impressing a Girl You Don't Know Well

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   Dress to impress. Not only will you look and smell more attractive, taking care of your grooming shows her that you're mature and capable of important daily tasks. Pay particular attention to these areas:
   • Shower at least once a day. It's probably best to do this in the morning, so you can start the day feeling fresh and clean. Wash your hair, soap up all over, and rinse off.
   • Keep your mouth clean. Brush twice daily, floss, and use mouthwash. For help in the middle of the day, use breath mints.
   • Manage facial hair. Shave daily. Or, if you're growing facial hair, make sure it's trimmed to a uniform length and not scraggly or unruly. If you tend to have a unibrow, consider plucking any stray hairs over your nose.
   • Wear a combination deodorant-antiperspirant. Apply it as soon as you get out of the shower in the morning.
   • Go easy on the cologne. You can use a few sprays of cologne or body spray, but don't go over 3.
   • Wear clean clothes. If you find yourself scrambling for fresh laundry, consider setting up a regular washing schedule, like doing all your laundry every Sunday night.
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   Be polite. Being well-mannered doesn't mean you're boring — it means you know how to treat other people with respect, a quality most girls want in their boyfriends. Show her you know how to be considerate by doing these things for everyone, not just her:
   • Say "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome." As well as asking with a "I'd appreciate it if" or "I would like for you..."
   • If someone is walking through a door behind you, hold it open for him or her.
   • Avoid cursing or saying anything crude in public, or in mixed company. It's fine to relax a little around your friends, but try to show your best side around people you don't know well.
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   Think before you speak. Everyone slips up and says stupid things, but try your best to limit it when you're around this girl. Take a few seconds to evaluate what you're going to say before you spit it out.
   • Don't talk up other girls. You might think making her jealous is a good idea, but steer clear. Discussing the looks of other girls in front of her will make you seem shallow and fickle. As far as she knows, she's the only one you're interested in.
   • Avoid coming off as a bully. Don't throw out careless insults or put other people down, even if they're meant to be funny. She might not be able to pick up on your humorous tone and take your words at face value.
   • Don't tell dirty jokes. There's a time and place for wicked humor — and it's when you're hanging out with your guy friends. Keep on a lid on it when you're around her.
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   Pay her a sincere compliment. One thing you should say when you're around her is a nice, genuine compliment. It's not as difficult as it seems! Here's what to do:
   • Think of what you like best about her. It could be her smile, her laugh, her intelligence — whatever strikes you as her best quality. (The only caveat to this is that you should not compliment her on any physical traits except her eyes or her smile. She might have a great figure, but now's not the time.)
   • Do it semi-privately. You don't have to get her completely alone to pay her a compliment, but try not to do it with all of her friends or your friends listening closely. You could also pull it off in a text or instant message.
   • Keep it short and sweet. No need to wax poetic for three or four minutes on her best qualities. A simple one-liner will do.
   • Pay attention to how you word it. Instead of saying "That's a pretty dress" or "I like your outfit," say "You look really great in that dress." Compliment the woman, not the article of clothing!
   • Get the body language right. Smile! Keep eye contact while you say it, too.
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   Make her feel special. Find little ways to let her know that you think she's an extraordinary person, and she'll definitely notice.
   • Don't ignore her or play hard to get. If she texts you, text back. If she wants to talk, try to make the time even if it's slightly inconvenient.
   • Go out of your way to help her. If she could use a hand with something, offer your assistance! It could be carrying heavy or cumbersome items, going with her to run an errand, or talking to her through a difficult situation.
   • Let her talk. The #1 mistake when talking to a girl is focusing on yourself. Girls are way more comfortable when they talk about common interests. Ask about her interests, hobbies, favorite books, music, etc. If she asks you a question, answer it in a few, short sentences and then redirect the question back at her. This engages her in the conversation.
   • Start an inside joke with her! By doing this the two of you will share a secret connection that is shared between only the two of you. This will make her feel special, included and closer to you. It will also give you an easy-to-come-up-with conversation starter. But keep in mind, if you overuse the inside joke, it could quickly go from fun to boring, so only use it when you must.

Method 2 of 2: Breaking Out of the Friendzone

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   Get some space away from her. It's the hardest thing to do when you're crazy about a girl, but it's the only sure way to get out of the friendzone. If you want her to see you in a different light, you have to take some away time so your relationship can reset when you start interacting again.
   • Commit to being in minimal contact with her for at least 3 or 4 weeks. It sounds like forever, but you can do it! Be polite when you see her, but don't hang out with her, don't engage in long phone calls, don't go on dates, and answer her texts with replies that are short and to the point.
   • If she asks why you're being so distant, say that you're taking some time to refocus your priorities. Tell her it's not personal, you're just working on accomplishing goals in other areas of your life. Most girls like someone motivated and ambitious; even if she's distraught that you're not spending as much time with her, this is as good a reason as you can give.
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   Spend time on self-improvement. Dedicate the hours you would otherwise spend with her (or thinking about her) to feeling better about yourself. You'll be a new and improved guy with better self-confidence, whether or not she's interested in that at the end of the day. Remember that you're not doing it for her right now — you're doing it for you, so that you feel like the best version of yourself.
   • Step up your grooming. Try making your routine a little more rigorous, and see how it affects your self-esteem. Amp up your skincare, try a different hairstyle, shower more regularly, try a new cologne, and so on.
   • Take control of your life. If there's some aspect of your life that currently feels out of control — whether it's school, your career, or finances — now's the time to rein it back in. Figure out what you need to do to stabilize your situation and feel like you're back on track. Then go do it — don't waste any more time stressing about it. Yes, girls are attracted to men who seem like they're in control of their lives. But even better, you'll feel confident and self-assured that things are going your way, because you've made it so.
   • Cultivate a new hobby or interest. Is there a sport you've always wanted to try? Or a subject you've always wanted to learn more about? Now's the time! Devote yourself to whatever extracurricular interest strikes your fancy, and make it your new focus. Girls are interested in people who are interesting, and having hobbies or outside activities makes you interesting.
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   Make a new first impression. After you've been away for awhile, you'll have the chance to make another "first" impression when you're ready to interact with her again. If you can play it the right way, she'll start to see you in a whole new light.
   • Look your best. Put extra effort into looking as good as possible when you feel like you're getting close to seeing her again. That way, your next meeting won't catch you off-guard.
   • Make your intentions clear. If you want her to see you as boyfriend material, act like it! Flirt with her. Maintain eye contact. Pay her a smoldering compliment. Don't just fall into old habits and act like you worship the ground she walks on. Make her feel special, but not at the cost of lowering yourself.
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   Don't offer your time so freely. Instead of being constantly available for her whenever she wants, make her work a little for your attention. For instance, you're not available to come over and watch romantic comedies with her while she complains about her latest break-up; however, you are available to take her to dinner on Friday if she's interested.
   • Draw a clear line between things you used to do for her in the friendzone, and things you're willing to do for her as a potential boyfriend. Be vigilant about sticking to this difference.
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   Don't waste time. After you re-initiate contact, don't wait months to ask her out or otherwise move the relationship to the next level. Do it within the week.
   • Ask her out on a date that is clearly romantic. That means: dinner, on the weekend, just the two of you. She'll get the hint.
   • State your feelings for her in a clear, confident way. Let her know that you're interested in being more than friends. Tell her you'll accept her decision if she's not interested, but you can't keep languishing in the friendzone.
   • Break the touch barrier. Hold her hand, give her a hug, offer to cuddle, or otherwise get physical contact on the table. Especially if the touch barrier was a characteristic of your earlier interactions, this is a pretty clear way to send her a message.
   • Remember that old Sean Connery movie quote: "The key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time." The gift doesn't have to be extravagant — try something as simple as a single flower or her favorite treat. Don't make a big deal about giving it to her, just do it with a smile and accept her thanks gracefully.
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   Accept her decision. If you've tried everything to impress her and she's still not interested in dating, back away gracefully. Sometimes the spark just isn't there. You tried your best, and there are other girls out there who will appreciate the person you are. Move on with confidence!

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Tips

• Be a gentleman. That doesn't mean that you can't say a joke or two. In fact, you should try joking around in order to get a smile out of her.
• Whenever she is in a sad mood, try to comfort her and act like you care for her. Don't be awkward.
• Stay in touch with her.
• Don't follow her around everywhere. It automatically gives you a reputation as a stalker, and it may freak her out. Even following her just a little can create fear, depending on how you act.
• If she talks to you a lot and finds good excuses to touch you, there's a good chance that she likes you.
• Adopt a good hairstyle that suits your personality.
• Be yourself, so she likes you, not someone else.
• Always be nice to her. When you see her, smile at her. Make jokes so you can laugh together
• Do not be rude to her at any point of time. No girl likes someone who is rude. Even if it's your idea of impressing someone.
• Sometimes try to be funny as girls like funny boys.
• Make her feel wanted/appreciated and let her know you like her; it's one of the biggest compliments you can give her.
• Show sympathy and affection. If the girl you really enjoy being around is sad or hurt, give her a quick hug. Don't just say that you're sorry and you hope she feels better. This works very well, because then the girl knows you care about her.
• Don't flirt with her for over a week and not ask her out. Don't ask her out over social media: girls don't like it. The most important thing, though, is not to wait too long to ask her out.
• Admit you like her. It's always worth a shot.
• Try not to be over protective!
• Be your bravest self; Take chances!
• Work out and stay in shape.
• Be specific what you saying to her as girls don't like guys who beat around the bush.
• When you are having a hard time to impress a girl, try to just take a deep breath and let it go.
• If you have followed all the steps above and it didn't work, don't feel disheartened. There are other girls out there that will be much more appreciative than the one who turned you down.
• If you have braces, glasses or acne, don't be disheartened! Most girls don't mind what's on the outside, as long as you aren't a total slob. Some girls find braces and glasses attractive, and many will overlook a bad complexion.
• How you act can determine whether she will actually want you to be around her all the time or if even just seeing your face is too much contact. If you know she sees you as a stalker, lay off because trying to do damage control tends to just worsen your situation, instead try to get a friend of your or of hers to intervene on your behalf.
• If you play an instrument, make up a piece of music and play it for her, or play her favorite song.
• Some girls are natural flirts, but aren't interested in you. Just because she hangs out all the time with you, hugs you and does other seductive things doesn't mean she likes you. Take things slowly so you can really know.
• Don't tell her via any sort of messaging system what you're doing, no matter how "cool" you think it is. If you're going to see a movie with your dad, chances are she doesn't care.
• Schedule activities for her and her friends with you and your guy friends. A little bit of showing off is ok, as long as you're helping them learn your talent.

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How to Kiss

This is an instructable on how to kiss. Kissing can be a hard thing to do until you get comfortable doing it, and while nothing can fully prepare you for a kiss, this how-to will explain some of the basics of kissing a partner and explore some simple kissing do's and don't's.

Note: I am by no means a kissing expert. The information in this instructable is based upon experience and some simple research on the subject.

Let's get started with just a simple kiss.

Step 1: Pre Kiss

 

 The lead up to the kiss can actually be the most difficult part of kissing. Figuring out whether your partner is ready to kiss you or not can be a challenge of its own.

If you see one or a combination of these indicators, there is a good chance that your partner is thinking about kissing you.

• eyes become soft and heavy
• eye contact is made and sustained
• head turns slightly
• lips are licked or bitten
• your partner makes physical contact with you beyond what seems appropriate for normal conversation (e.g. he or she brushes your hand, touches you on the shoulder or leg, or fidgets with an accessory)
• easy conversation comes to a stop, but eye contact is not broken
• your partner smiles in conjunction with any of the above behaviors

To give your partner the cue that you wish to kiss him or her, you can try one or a combination of these things.

• soften your gaze by relaxing the muscles around your eyes, somewhat like smiling but without engaging your mouth
• smile often, though
• make eye contact and allow it to linger for a few moments longer than you normally would
• find ways to subtly (but respectfully) touch your partner

If you think you are picking up some of these signs, but are still unsure if the person wants to be kissed then there is nothing wrong with just simply asking your partner if a kiss would be all right. Granted it breaks the mood a bit, and sensing the magic is always nicer than asking if it's there, but better to be sure your partner is on board for the kiss otherwise you might be heading for an embarrassing situation.

If you've assessed the situation, and it seems probable that a kiss is imminent, the next things to think about are timing and approach. The key to nailing the pre kiss is matching your partner's speed and intensity. The kiss is the first opportunity to physically connect with your partner, and so you want to meet him or her halfway.

Here are some steps you could follow as you go in for the kiss. Keep in mind that the kiss you share with someone is as unique as your relationship with that person, so follow your instincts and use the following as a rough guideline.

1. Establish a physical connection by placing your hands on your partner's body. Placement depends on the dynamic between you, you can softly touch the face, the back of the neck or the shoulders. Be gentle with your touch if this is the first contact you are making. Stay away from "high risk" zones on your partners body, as you just want to indicate that you are interested in kissing them, not give them a full body search.

2. Establish and maintain eye contact from this point on. The eyes are often a clear indicator if someone wants to be kissed, or is thinking about kissing you. Try to look at your partner with a deep, yet soft gaze. Use your eyes to send them a message that shows how you feel for your partner, e.g., "I care for you, I am on fire when I look at you, I want to kiss you."

3. As you lean in, you may want to tilt your body and head to accommodate your partner's positioning. One partner will have to make room for the other, or both partners can just slightly tilt heads in opposite directions. Basically you are just trying to avoid a nose collision as you get closer, so just pick a side to turn to and don't give it too much thought.

4. Gauge how quickly your partner is leaning in and try to meet at the halfway point between you, so neither person is overextended. Over/under extension can make one person feel like they are not getting met and are either too aggressive, or not engaged enough.

If you have come this far with your partner chances are you are going to kiss, or you have misread the entire situation and they are just leaning in to look at something stuck in your teeth.

If the first is true, then read on because it's time to pucker up and get on with THE KISS.

Step 2: Practice the Kiss

 

 

Once you're leaning in, things start to happen quickly. If you are nervous about the actual kiss, why not practice beforehand to hone your technique? An arm or mirror could serve as useful tools to self monitor the feel and look of your kissing style.

Rest assured, THE KISS is coming, but here it is broken down first, step by step so that you know whats going on when you see it at full speed with a partner in the next step.

Here is a head on view of a kiss. I am just practicing here, so it might look a little funny, but once your partner is sitting across from you and your lips meet theirs, it's H, O, T hot.


1. You are in the pre kiss state described in step 1 - your head is tilted, there is lip activity, your eyes are in a soft deep gaze and maybe there is some light physical contact.

You could open or close your eyes, though if you're nervous, closed could help avoid the deer in headlights look of fear. I like to start with mine open and close them just before lip contact.

2. Either you or your partner has shown that they would like to kiss. Start putting the pieces from step 1 together. Lean in and meet your partner halfway. Begin to pucker the lips by bringing them together, pushing them out, and applying just a faint hint of suction on your closed mouth to bring the cheeks slightly in.

Now is a good time to lick your lips if they aren't already moist.

Keep leaning in, remembering to tilt your head until you make contact with your partner's lips.

Remember not to forget about hand placement! A gentle touch to the back of the neck, the shoulders or your partners head is all you need. This can also help in guiding someone into the kiss if they are lost or are having trouble meeting you.

3. Your lips come to a full pucker position. They are soft, but not floppy. They can be fully formed and firm, but certainly not hard. This is an ambiguous state for any solid to be in - but these are your lips were talking about here - they can handle it!

Make contact with your partners lips.

If this is your first kiss, you don't want to linger too long, but you also don't want to just peck them and retreat.

Count "one-one thousand, two-one thousand" in your head before relaxing the pucker in your lips and beginning to pull your head away. You can hold the kiss like this for longer, but after 5 seconds or so should start think about ending this kiss. If you would like to keep kissing after that you can always lean in again and follow up the first kiss with a second, third or fourth kiss.

Remember to breathe through the kiss. It's all right to hold your breath for a short kiss, but for longer ones you are going to have to breathe while you are kissing. Since your mouth is occupied, you are going to have to use your nose. Just breathe normally and continue on with the kiss.

To end the kiss begin to lighten the pressure your lips are applying to your partners' and relax your puckered lips. As your lips relax they will separate and a small amount of air will be sucked into your mouth. This will create the kissing noise, or "smack" that is identified with a kiss.

At this point contact with your partner's lips has ended and its time to start thinking about giving them a little space and time to reflect about what just happened.

4. Move your head back slowly and begin to relax the muscles around your mouth. You can keep your eyes closed for a bit as you revel in the kiss and slowly return to your normal un-extended position.

5. You are now in the post kiss phase and if it was a good kiss, words won't do the feeling justice. If you and your partner liked what just happened you can follow up with more, or just enjoy what the two of you shared. If it was a bad kiss, you can try to make changes and give the kiss another go. If things can't be salvaged at that particular moment, don't force it - take a break and talk about it with your partner and try again after a few minutes or another day.

Step 3: The Kiss

 

 Ok, it's time for THE KISS. Take all the elements from steps 1 and 2 and put them together. It's good to be methodical while practicing to kiss, but when it's time to do the real thing it should flow smoothly and come naturally.

You can also touch your tongue to your partners lips ever so slightly. (This is not a French Kiss - just one method of placing the tongue towards the front of your mouth so you can just lightly brush your partner's lips upon contact.)

 

Step 4: Post Kiss

 

 The post kiss is a lot like the pre kiss state, but more warm and gooey.

If you enjoyed the kiss show your partner that you liked it by smiling and/or holding their hand.

If you are going to kiss again keep things energized by maintaining physical contact with your partner even though you have pulled your lips away. For multiple kisses its ok to do the same thing over and over, but it's better to change things up a little bit. Here are some variables to think about modifying:

• angle of approach
• speed of kiss
• length of kiss
• kiss firmness/intensity
• lip positioning (The first kiss is often a dead on approach, but offsetting one set of lips either up, or down can lead to a nice interlocking kiss where one partner's lips are nestled within the "lip valley" of the other partner's lips.)
• hand placement
• body placement

If you are done kissing for a little while just stare into your partners eyes and enjoy what the two of you just shared. Hopefully it will be the first of many and the twinkle in your eye as well as the smile on your face should make you feel like you are on top of the world.

 

Step 5: How NOT to Kiss

Kissing "don'ts" are just as important as kissing "do's". Just as doing all the right things can make for a magical kiss, doing all the wrong things could seriously throw a monkey wrench into your kissing future.

So remember, don't:

• try to suck the face off of your partner. Kissing is exciting, and there can certainly be an urge to latch on and suck, but try to resist, as it will probably upset your partner.
• force your tongue onto the scene. The right time to use your tongue while kissing will present itself after a few kisses, a few minutes or a few days. Forcing it too early or being aggressive with your tongue before you or your partner is ready is not a good idea.
• kiss your partner with a mouth full of saliva. Remember to swallow excess spit before locking lips with your partner. While this is more of a problem with French kissing, if the saliva were to somehow find its way out of your mouth during a regular kiss, it could be problematic.
• kiss with bad breath or fuzzy teeth. Practice good oral hygiene before kissing and take a second to think about whether or not your lips and mouth are a nice environment to kiss. It's true that kissing someone who has eaten onions or garlic can be pungent - so watch out for kisses after meals, but often if both partners have had the same thing to eat neither of them will mind very much.
• miss your partner's face or misalign and hit noses. It's not the end of the world if this happens, but a simple turn of the head or glance to make sure you are properly aligned can help you avoid this potentially embarrassing situation.
• don't run into trouble with braces. Locking braces, cutting your partner, or just clashing metal is a real danger when you or your partner have braces. Kiss gently when you have braces and take special care not to link your braces onto theirs. Kissing with braces is most definitely possible and having them shouldn't keep you from being a great kisser.

Even if you do make some of these mistakes none of them are unrepairable. Remember, kissing certainly is a big part of becoming close with someone, but it is by no means everything. If you do happen to have a bad experience just take a second to compose yourself, and try giving it another shot.

 

 

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